UPDATE

since I am also the worlds worst journal keeper I like to keep random updates on here.... unfortunately not all are happy times...

We found out in July that we would be expecting a baby... Things felt normal and we went on with our summer plans. We went to Dominican Republic, Victor played volleyball, we returned without him and he traveled on to Puerto Rico to play this season there.

I began to have feelings that something was wrong with the pregnancy but had no signs of anything being wrong so I passed it off as nervousness. I couldn't get rid of the feeling and finally said something to Victor a couple days before my Dr appointment. He of course told me everything would be fine.

As I went to my appointment I had hope that all was well but was not surprised to see no heartbeat on the monitor. He didn't have to tell me. I knew. I was alone and scared. Our first pregnancy ended early as well. I knew the pain that I was about to face. Both physically and emotionally.

Unfortunately the body does not know that the fetus has stopped growing and continues to gain weight. I had been carrying the dead fetus for months. I had a feeling it wasn't going to finish on its own But I was waiting to find out if Victor would be able to come back home for a little while to help me, support me.

A week after my appointment we found out Victor would not be able to come back... thanks to the most heartless coach ever. So I called the Dr and went right up for a D & C. This is supposed to be routine, in and out. However it was bigger than the Dr had expected and I lost too much blood. 1 1/2 liters to be exact. They kept me over night and gave me medications to contract my uterus to limit the bleeding. The result is extreme exhaustion.

thanks to my family for helping with my kids and supporting me it this crappy time... But I can't wait to be back with Victor.

Some other things we are up to:

The reason I came back and Victor went to Puerto Rico is we are going to be buying a house....House hunting alone is not easy either. But we are determined thanks to technology!!!

I can't wait to have a place of our own. Somewhere to come back to and move out of our storage unit!!!

Halloween is coming and I ordered the boys costumes online... they are going to be Woody and Buzz Lightyear from TOY STORY... The costumes came today and I tried Corbin's on... IT'S SOOO CUTE! I can't wait... each year the holidays get more fun as they get older... I can't wait for Christmas!